Friday, 20 January 2017

The things you should never (ever) apologise for


Hey guys, remember me? It's been a couple of weeks. I guess things just got busy in real life, and the January blues hit me pretty hard despite all my attempts to absolutely girl-boss it! But you know what? As usual I didn't feel an ounce of guilt for taking things slow, vegging out in the evenings and chowing down on a doughnut or two to ease the glumness. I've had a lot going on.

It got me thinking about how our culture these days is all about the hustle - working out for the perfect body, busying ourselves at work to get the perfect job, nailing your social life, and then some. There are influencers out there that make having it all look effortless, but behind closed doors I doubt that's the case. The guilt (and sometimes jealousy) that comes from having a lousy couple of weeks, not really being the picture of full health, and pretty much just not 'feeling it' really can't be good for us.

But why do we always feel like a blip or a rough patch in life is something to apologise for? It's really just part of being human. Like I said, social media has really helped to set the bar high. We all want to succeed in life, but you're not a failure for encountering a setback. Here are some of the things you'll never find me feeling guilty about or saying sorry for.

Eating 'naughty' food

What is it that has us feeling so bad about the stuff that tastes good? Screw clean eating, seriously. If your diet is balanced enough most of the time and you don't have any health problems that prevent you from indulging in sweet treats and the occasional (read: bi-weekly) pizza, then go for it. And don't you dare spend a second feeling guilty or calling yourself a hippo. Loving your body shouldn't be about depriving it, but giving it a little of everything it needs.

Not wearing any makeup

What I wouldn't give for it to be more commonplace for young women to go makeup free on a daily basis. I've struggled with my skin a lot the last couple of years (adult acne after spot-free teen years was a shock), and it made me realise the extent to which our spots, fine lines, redness and dark circles are met with shame and embarrassment. It's sad that so many of us feel the need to announce "sorry I look like shit, I skipped the foundation this morning", when we go without our staple products. Even though I enjoy using makeup and skincare to enhance the way I look, I really don't want to feel like I rely on it to be 'up to standard' in the eyes of society. I think we're on the cusp of a movement in this respect, but only time (and bravery) will tell.

Going home on time

Like I said in the intro to this post, we live in an age where people seem to wear their 'hustle' like  a badge of honour. Well let me tell you something: You do not have to work hours and hours extra each week to succeed. You do not have to justify heading off at 3 minutes past 5. You do not have to skip lunch breaks every day to get ahead. I've worked in jobs before where the workload was way beyond manageable and the impact that it had on me was profound. Even when I arrived early, worked like a machine and left late, it barely made a dent. And was I any happier for doing so? No.

I now work in an office where the work itself is a healthy challenge but the workload is almost spot on - most people go home on time most days, but always bring their A-game while there. If I stay late it's because I really want to do some extra work on something. If you feel guilty for heading off home before your snowed under colleagues for once, don't apologise on the way out. Instead, seriously evaluate whether you should ask for help, or consider a change of employer.

Being late

When it comes to social occasions I'm chronically guilty of not getting ready early enough. I often feel tired and lack motivation thanks to some minor health issues, so it takes a serious push to get me off the sofa, into something presentable and off to where I'm going. I read something on social media a few weeks ago about someone who had stopped apologising for being late, and instead thanks the person for waiting. It's a much more positive way of dealing with the minor inconvenience, and rewards the person you're meeting for their understanding. People are late for all kinds of reasons, and life is stressful at times, so actively trying to be more easy going is important to me. Granted you probably shouldn't stroll into work or a doctors appointment 15 minutes behind schedule, but trying to rush yourself will only put you into an irritable mood and could ruin the rest of your day.

What do you wish people would stop apologising for?
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3 comments

  1. I loved this blog post I'm going to think more before I say sorry I'm always saying sorry for silly things especially things that arnt event my fault!

    Sophie Kate | sophiekate.co.uk

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    Replies
    1. It's my pet hate when people say sorry too much but I always catch myself doing it too!!

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  2. Love this! I especially agree with the leaving on time thing - I feel so strongly about that. It makes me sad that the society that we live in is putting all this pressure on us and making people feel that work is the most important thing in the world. I wish employers would take a stand on this and allow people to have some work-life balance for a change - it's so important! So glad to hear that your current work place is already doing it. :)

    Laura // Middle of Adventure

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